Hope you are are bringing the work week to an end well!
Its beautiful out and I am happy to have another week in this beautiful life God has made for me!
But it wasn't always like this.
In fact, I feel inspired to share my story with you today. See yesterday as I was browsing my other fave blogs I fell upon Amy who was inspired by Leah and her "when mercy found me" post. Mercy found Amy in a city college gymnasium, mercy found Leah on her bathroom floor as she was trying to end her life. Mercy even found my sister in a broken heart from an abusive relationship.
And mercy found me,
in a dark, depressive place.
I have told my story to those that are close to me, but today I am no longer ashamed to tell all of the world where God's mercy found me. It found me in the middle of my bedroom one night in the middle of my mess.
Mercy found me there.
Before it found me I was so lost. I always liked to be in control of everything in my life and the fact that it seemed like everything I had my hand on wasn't going the way Jena wanted it to go - I figured there was no hope. I had been struggling with being happy at my job and all of its stresses. I was approaching my last semester at school, but unsure how I was going to convince my job to let me take off work to go to school. I wasn't very close to my family. I was in debt, and needed a new car. I was living paycheck to paycheck and began to ask God, is this all there is to life? Is this all I had to look forward to? A job where I am miserable - working 9-5 for the rest of my life. Hating it? Was this all that life was? If so, what was the point. I was so anxious about everything I began to have panic attacks from thinking so much. I began to self medicate myself just so that I could not worry about anything. When I would come down the mole hills would be turning to mountains, and I would just cry and get lifted again. I have always been a very happy person, but sometimes the happiest looking person can be so sad inside. I was so sad about my life. I didn't see the purpose in it, if that was all that I had to look forward to,
I didn't want it.
I am so thankful for Jesus' mercy. It found me one dark, lonely night. It woke me up, I felt Him talk to my spirit, my heart.
"I am the Creator."
I could feel His words in my being. In my spirit.
"Why are you looking to this world to show you what life is?
I am the Creator.
Why don't you go the source, the one who created all, to get your answers?"
Everything just clicked. I could feel His love that night. I felt something so real that I could never explain to anyone.
I felt true life.
He continued to speak to me. He said there was so much He had for my life. That this would be the beginning of a great life in Him.
It was a Saturday night. I went to church the next day. I called my dad that night and told Him I wanted Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. I decided to live my life according to God's ways that very night.
In a month's time, I was no longer bound by the same demons. I went to Jesus for everything! I was feeling better about my job, and they even made a way for me to have half days to go to school for my last semester! (This is absolutely unheard of) I was able to have the finances to purchase a new car for me and my hubs! Me and A got engaged and made our commitment to each other, and the next month I found out I was pregnant (something me and A had been really wanting for a couple years).
I also had peace in my mind
- this is something I am so thankful for.
I am so thankful for Jesus.
Finding me in the middle of my mess, and picking me up when I felt there was no hope.
He had been sitting there the entire time, listening to me, waiting for me to come to Him.
Mercy found me, and my life has never been the same.
I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I have learned what having a true relationship with Christ is. He's my strength when I need it, my friend when I want to talk, my protector, and my peace.
Neon striped no sleeve blouse - Nordstom Rack
Off white tank - Heartbreaker
White distressed capris - American Eagle (Thrifted $6!)
Brown strappy wedges - Shpreflection.com (I am selling these in my Poshmark closet for $15!)
White/gold watch - Guess
Berry clutch - Nine West (TJ Maxx)
Skinny Brown Belt - F21
Hope, Peace, Love, Joy have been restored to me.
I am so happy, I have an everlasting joy that cannot be stolen from me. So when you hear me talk about Him or how much I love Him, you can now understand what He brought me from and why I am so greatful! P.S. I cried tears of joy writing this :)!
He is so amazing!
I love Him with all that I have.
He is so worthy of the praise!
So, Where did mercy find you?
I love this song by Natalie Grant - the acoustic version is my favorite. It reminds me of being in a lost place and that God will find you wherever you are. He is always there and willing and waiting for you to call His name.
(I think I might sing this for my next song to share my voice!)
Hope you have a great weekend! :)