Friday, October 17, 2014

Facing Fears: Fear of Rejection

Happy Friday!




Black Striped Shirt - ASOS
Black Pencil Skirt - H&M
Black Booties - Shopreflection.com I believe...
Gold Chain Necklace - Thrifted!

Hope this week is winding down nicely for you! To continue our fear series - I am going to focus on the fear of rejection today!Fear of rejection has had its 15 minutes of fame, a time or two for many. For most it begins as wanting to belong or feel accepted by others. Most of my encounters with this feeling have been in looking for a job, forming new relationships (dating/friendships), and maintaining old ones. 

Some have even experienced this by being forced to care about things by others. Your father wants you to be a doctor, so you pursue a path in life to be accepted as the 'good child' by him. Often times people resort to phoniness in trying to pretend they are something that they are not. Not being their true selves that God created them to be. People-pleasing also arrives when dealing with this fear. 

The word, "No."
It all starts with the word "No." When we were little, we hated hearing this word. I have a 9 month old and everytime I tell her "No" she gives me this look like she does not like that word! Its telling her you can't do this, or you can't have that, or not your way - but this way instead. 

God tells us "No" all the time. If we listen or not, is another story. I've been on both sides of situation. I know when I follow and listen to God, things always work out. But we are wired to wanting to do things we want to do, our way. 

We should understand that good things can come in funny packages sometimes. Being told no or being rejected has never been fun or easy for anyone. The trick is learning to embrace that the answer "No" can always be a possibility when asking or reaching for something. "No" may not the end. It may just be like a parent telling a child, "No, not right now" or "No, not that way." When you look at it in that perspective it can help you see it better. I know my parents had good intentions for me, they would say "No" for good reason. Even though I didn't understand it then, did it make it less of a good reason? No. (No pun intended)

With Christ we can have confidence in our future. Knowing that no matter what the outcome may be, if we love and live for Him that closed doors can mean better opportunities ahead. Romans 8:28, one of my favorites says:

"And we know all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to his purpose."

We are not always going to know the reason we are being told "No". Heck, sometimes we may feel we are well qualified, well suited and ready and willing to take on what we are reaching for. But many times when we are told "No," we get upset. We get frustrated and we take our eyes off of the prize. Not remembering, we can still get there, but it may be a different way. 

Embracing the journey, the yes's and no's, the good with the bad, and seeing it all in one big picture. If we follow Christ through it all, it all will be beautifully weaved together to discovering and fulfilling our purpose here on earth. If we look at each speck on the paper, we can see bad, hurt, and disappointing times. But all together with the good it can be seen as a beautiful picture. Painted perfectly. 

What are you experiences with fear of rejection?
I would love for you to share you thoughts and comments below, you never know when you may be helping someone!!


Have a great weekend!

-J
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44 comments:

  1. Becky @ Come Home to DisneyOctober 17, 2014 at 1:47 PM

    I know what you mean - I have such a fear of rejection :( I love doing theater but I find auditioning so difficult because of that fear. I'm really working on getting myself out there more.

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  2. Yeah, for me the best thing is to just embrace it and remember that no isn't the end, its just a word and something better will come!

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  3. Wow! That's harsh, I definitely think past experiences can have a way of controlling our actions! Speaking to ourselves day by day will help us to start to believe better things vs. those negative ones that other's have fed to us!

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  4. I fear rejection a lot. I have lost close family and friends and I worry about losing others.

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  5. Rejection can be really frightening at times but it's better to get rejected than to regret not trying at all :)

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  6. Well no one like to hear the word "no", but if you never ask anything you will not gain anything either. I always try to keep in mind that you don't lose anything by asking, you can only gain :) Great post! xo's

    Laura
    Pink Frenzy

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  7. Hello. Great pictures, you are cute and beautiful.
    I've seen that you registered to a Oasap cardigan giveaway, maybe you could have another chance on my blog too, I am hosting the same giveaway. Waiting for your lovely visit.
    FASHION-SPIKE.blogspot.com
    Goog luck

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  8. actually u know what ... i don't fear rejection ... i have hate living with "What if's" .... What i think is what the other person would say or do max ? will say NO ... fine ... atleast i would not have to live with "What if" ...

    and the funny thing is i told HIM how i feel for him ... he said NO lol still i dont regret asking ... his loss :P

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  9. Such a lovely idea! :)

    Jess xo
    http://just-jesss.blogspot.co.uk

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  10. Thank you for this!! Sometimes it's hard to embrace the "no's", but they are were our strength as human beings are tested and made better!

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  11. I think now that I'm older rejection doesnt bother me as much as it might have done a few years ago but it's never nice!

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  12. It is nice to take it a level up on twitter.. good to reach out to more people. :)

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  13. rejection can be tough.. but it makes us stronger!

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  14. Such a great idea joined hope I'm not too late never done one before

    Sophie
    Xx
    www.pocockins.co.uk

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  15. I have always struggled with the fear of rejection, it has taken me a long time to overcome!

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  16. Its tough, but we can definitely get over it, day by day!

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  17. I completely agree, the worst that can happen is you are right back where you started!

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  18. Soooo true, Shumaila! At the end of the day at least you know you tried!

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  19. Mandy, yes. We gain so much strength in the times we have to sit without something we want! We definitely get stronger!

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  20. Hey Kel! Doesn't feel nice, but you learn to live and deal with it!

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  21. Definitely makes us stronger! Thanks for visiting!

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  22. Brittney - I've always thought to try things no matter what, but once you get in your head that fear you literally have to pull yourself out of your head to overcome it!

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  23. Loving this outfit, especially your shoes x

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  24. I learned not to be bothered and try to be the most independent so that I don't have to get approval from anyone..
    love the boots!!
    xo
    Alice|Alice's Beauty Madness

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  25. Love the outfit. I used to be really scared of rejection but more lately I have adopted the term, "The worst that can happen is they say no!" Because I fear the fact of missing out on something more.

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  26. What an awesome link up, I'll be sure to link up this week!

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  27. I agree, I am the same way never really looking for other's approval. Going with my gut!

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  28. Deidre, I love that term, I have used it myself as well! My thoughts, if you get a "No", you are right back to where you started. Nothing lost, nothing gained. Although, you could say you gained an experience!

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  29. Candice you can link up with us each week! Please do! :)

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  30. Thanks so much Tina! :) I saw it!!

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  31. Thanks Laura, you should definitely participate!

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  32. Yes!! Awesome, join in each with us!!

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  33. Janet, so glad you came to visit me :)

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  34. Thanks Esha! You should totally join in this week!

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  35. Never too late, Sophie! We are doing this hashtag for the rest of the month! Join the conversation this Thursday!!

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  36. I used to hate "No", but over the years, I've realized sometimes God telling us "no" can really be a blessing in disguise.

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Please share your thoughts and comments with me!