Friday, October 24, 2014

Facing Fears: Loneliness

Blouse - Cotton On
Black Sleeveless Sweater - Thrifted - $7!
Blue Denim - Gap
Brown Booties - Steve Madden

Happy Friday!
Hope the end of the week is winding down great for you. It is always much deserved every week when I meet up with Friday. The weather here has been gorgeous lately, and I have a few things planned this weekend so it should be nice. I am planning to attend the MN Blogger Conference, a People Style Watch event for Silver Jeans, and likely a movie with the hubs. On top of those, always spending time with family and God.
So in closing out this work week, I wanted to continue the facing fears series. We’ve discussed the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, and today we will focus on the fear of loneliness.
The fear of loneliness or being alone
 It can be shared not only by those who are single, or those who have may have a minimal number of outside relationships with others, but can also be a reality for those who have huge support systems visibly present. Loneliness looks different for many people. It can mean you always need a partner or you feel inadequate. It can mean you must always be in a social setting to feel your best. It could even mean you are scared or feel unsafe when you are alone at night.  It can mean that you feel no one understands you and you are facing life alone.

I've experienced this first hand when I became pregnant. I felt like I was the only one going through what I was experiencing. It is a feeling of isolation and disconnection with others. It’s tough to be in a place like that, but there is hope. There is an answer to the equation. Christ is the only one that knows your deepest thoughts and feelings, and can help you overcome them.

What has helped me:
Leaning completely on Jesus.
Believe it or not, but in many of those situations where I felt alone – I would pray for those that I felt didn’t understand me. I would ask God to help me be a better friend to them. I would ask him to heal my heart. To help me appreciate the people that I did have. Help me to see them as he sees them. I would ask him to give me understanding. Help me to see clues as to why I am in this situation right now, was it for me to have a story in the future that may help someone? Was it for me to learn that he is always there? Was it for me to understand I have no control over other people and their actions and I must trust in him? I learned so much during that time by leaning on him. That is what he wants, that is what he is there for.

Understanding that man will fail. 
We are humans, we will make promises and sometimes even if not intentionally they will get broken. God is the only one who is truly his word. I remember thinking – they said they would always be there for me. I felt alone and I felt lied to. I felt like if someone truly cared about me they would reach out. The truth is, I have told many of my friends that I would be there for them and meant it. And there have been many of missed calls on my cell phone. Jesus is the only one that is always, ALWAYS there. In the middle of the night when you know you no one will answer, he will. Even if just to listen to our most inner cries and thoughts. And through it all we must show grace and mercy in those situations to those we feel abandoned by, just as Christ has shown to us.

Looking for the silver lining. 
It’s hard. I mean how do you look for a silver lining when you lose someone? How do you see the good in that? How do you see the light in a dark place of loneliness? How do you see it when you've been through bad relationship after bad relationship? But its there somewhere. It may take years until you figure it out, or might be right away. It could be for a greater cause, it could be to teach you something. I had to go through bad relationships before I appreciated a good one. I had to feel alone to understand how to offer support to others. I had to experience the pain of loss, to appreciate and live the life I was given. And if you don’t know what it is, accept that you may not understand in this season but know all things work together for the good of those who love God.

Reaching out to others.
 I put this last for a couple reasons. It’s said the last thing you read is usually the one that sticks with you, but I really put this last because that is usually the last thing we think or want to do in these situations. We fight ourselves, with “they don’t care” or “I need to be strong.” But God put us all on this earth for a reason, and it’s to be a help to each other. We have to rely on other people sometimes! They may be the one who he speaks through to give you hope and understanding. Invite them out to dinner, to get out and about. Taking your focus off of your lonely thoughts and engaging with others may help you through this time.

What things have helped you?

Can you relate?

Do you ever feel like you are alone? 

Have a great weekend!

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Thursday, October 23, 2014

4 Ways to Boost Your Attitude #YourAttitudeMatters + Let Your Light Shine Link Up!

Happy Thursday!

Doesn't this pic make you feel powerful? If you follow my shop on Instagram, she's already graced your feed. In keeping with the theme for this month, #YourAttitudeMatters, I wanted to give you ideas and ways to turn your toughest moments and bad situations into something positive. 

 Let's be real, we are not always going to be able to point out the silver lining in some situations.
They are just going to be too tough for us to see a bright side. But changing our attitude doesn't mean changing the situation and forgetting the hurt or pain or disappointment we are experiencing. It is rather choosing to focus on something more positive, so those things don't bring us down, depress us, or cause us to be unmotivated. Its choosing to "let it go" or "let it be" rather than putting all our energy into trying to pick up the pieces. It is rather choosing to take a different perspective, that could change our days, and even our lives. 

This week I had a few moments where I had to choose the right attitude. I want to share 4 ways that I overcame those tough moments and what worked for me. 

Choose to be a blessing when you feel you need one yourself.
One example was when I was running late for work, knowing I totally missed a meeting that I should have been at. Annoyed and now potentially starting the day on the wrong foot, I went to grab coffee to help bring me up a little. But instead of just getting some for myself only - I paid for the person in the drive thru behind me, because maybe they were having a day like mine. I left a note with the barista, just saying that I wanted to shine a little light on their day. It immediately made me forget about my sour situation and put me in a better place. 

Surround yourself with cute stuff. 
Cute kids, animals, and even clothes immediately bring my attitude up. In fact its proven that watching cute animal videos increases your productivity (read one article here).
Isn't that insane?
I know if I watch a cute or funny video, it brings me to a place of happy.
Try it

Get an Attitude Accountability Partner.
I have a great friend at work that keeps me sane. She lets me vent, and then after we are done - we bring each other back to our purpose and focus on the positive. It's so important to have someone like this. They don't have to shove scriptures and mantras down your throat - but in those tough moments, offer a shoulder to lean on and give you another perspective to think about. We all know how it is having someone with a bad or worse attitude around us. It brings us dowwwwnn. Make sure you are choosing folks that bring you up!

Canceling out negative thoughts. 
Oh, this one is good and new for me. As soon as someone says something I don't like or something that happens may bring down my attitude, I immediately cancel those bad thoughts out. Literally, thinking or saying to myself - "Self, I am not going down that thought path." Your thoughts can take you so many places, so stopping them at the start is important. 

Those are the tricks that have helped me this week! 
Have you ever tried these before? 
What was your experience?
How can we change our attitudes and be effective right now?

Let's continue the conversation with hashtag#YourAttitudeMatters


Today is Let Your Light Shine Thursday!

You know what time it is, let that beautiful light shine!
Each week we appreciate those of you who come by to share your posts on fashion, beauty, faith, love, and all the in between.

Today we are sharing a post from Robyn at Feel Great Fashion.
We love Robyn's perfect military inspired look,  and Robyn was the most clicked on link last week.
Military Inspired Denim

1. Link up your favorite post this week - It can be related to faith, fashion, food, family, or whatever else you would like to share that helped you shine your light from the week!
Don't worry if you don't have a blog to link up - just leave a comment with how you let your light shine this week!

2. Follow I'm Perfectly Human & Made with Zeal on Bloglovin, or any other social media outlet (FB, Twitter, Instagram, or GFC)

3. Link back by using the button above or your own link.

4. Visit other blogs and meet new blogger friends!

Each week we will be choosing our favorite posts to feature and share with you all! So link up for your chance to be featured!!

Let Your Light Shine Thursdays

Linking up: WIWT, Treasure Tromp, Week's End

- J

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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

5 Date Night Activities You Must Do with Your Honey in October

Happy Hump Day!

Leather Dress - Poppy Lux
Cheetah Heels - Heartbreakers
Gold Name Necklace - By Faith Accessories
Gold Chain Bracelet - Gift from my Mom

When I put this dress on, immediately I felt sexy and put together. Poppy Lux gave me the pleasure of beholding this beauty, and I am loving every minute of it. It goes well with cheetah print - what doesn't? And the beautiful gold name necklace from By Faith Accessories.
(this month's sponsor, check out the discount on the sidebar, yal!)

This dress got me pumped up for a date night. Me and A have been trying to be more intentional about having alone time lately. After the wedding and new baby, we have to make it important to get back to us! There's one thing about fall, its like perfect date season! The weather is cool but not too hot, you can cozy up somewhere, or dress up your comfy look for a night out together. In continuing from my 5 activities you must do with your kids, (remember this?) I am gearing up for 5 activities you must do with your honey this October.

1.Go to a football game 
Tis the season for sports. Although, I am not the first to jump at turning to ESPN, going to a live game is exciting and fun. It can be a local high school or college, or a national team (let's not get started on the Vikings..), either way it will be a great thing to do on a weekend as you enjoy some time out with a warm coffee or cocoa in hand, rooting your team on!

2. Hit up a hay ride
These are fun if they are haunted! Take the honey out for a night at a local festive fair, or just go for the ride. There is a local spot, Trail of Terror, that has a haunted trail and also live music, hay rides, and more. Although, the last time me and A went our hay ride got stuck in the middle of the forest at night (Talk about spooky!) it was still a great time!

3. Plan a cuddle date
Don't feel like weathering the chilly nights? Netflix or Redbox are welcome in this one. Get some of your favorite movies, or ones you can't wait to see, bottle of wine or hot apple cider, popcorn, and comfy spot and you've got an instant cuddly night.

4. Volunteer Together
This should really be a year round activity, however in the next coming months the push will be greater to give to those without. Plan a day where you can volunteer at a local charity and give back to those in need. Grab a bite to eat or coffee before or after the event. It will make you feel all warm inside.

5. Visit a pumpkin patch, orchard, or corn maze
These activities are live and well during this time. We have one right up the street from us. This is great if you have kids, or even if not. Picking apples to make some sweet treats, grabbing a pumpkin for dessert or decor, or just seeing who can make it through the corn maze fastest. It will all be gone soon, so get out and enjoy it!

Ok! I'm taking my own advice and working to get at least a few of these under my belt in the next couple weeks!

Have a great day!!

- J

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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Bossy: Being a Newbie Entrepreneur v.1

Happy Tuesday!

I have always dreamed about being my own boss. About setting my schedule and working on something I love through the good and the bad, and in the end having that feeling of accomplishment for what I produce. Little did I know what that journey would look like. And I still don't. My brother did it, my younger brother always had such a talent and gift and he acted on it. He became his own boss and he has grown professionally and personally. 

I've seen it with my own eyes and wanted it for myself. But how would I do it, how would I get there? Jesus inspired me to start drawing again. When I was younger I always used to draw. You should look at the doodles in my notebooks for class. In high school, I even started drawing a weekly comic in one of my classes, poking fun at a few friends. When the teacher was anything but interesting, I would see myself being carried away into another world. Conflict came because as a creative soul, I found myself dabbling in all sorts of things. Graphic design - my older sister and I were even self taught in HTML by middle school! I also am a singer, and when I was young I figured I had to choose one thing to be good at. You know, with everyone always asking what are you going to do when you grow up? You could never tell them multiple things, because then you lacked focus and were not going to be successful. 

I finally decided to keep my path on business with a focus in marketing. I always knew I wanted to own my own business. I felt marketing was the creative side of business so I would be able to be as creative as I needed. And although marketing turned out to be much different, I still enjoyed it and the creativity I could impute into it. I enjoyed learning and understanding people and the way they work and analysis, I love analysis.

But that still didn't fill the void in my heart. I began my blog 4 years ago to have a creative outlet and share myself with the world. I love my blog, but it only became a partial filler to what I was missing. 
When I began to draw again, something started to come out of me. Confidence and natural ability started to flow and I know it is all because of God. I trust him in every aspect and consult with him on every decision I make. It's so important to me. 

Though I have only just started my own business, Spoonful of Faith, weeks ago, there is so much that I have learned and so much for me to learn. Every month, I want to do a Bossy check in here on the blog. I want to give you a glimpse in my life as it comes to my business, and where I am at with things. I want you to jump in my thoughts with me to see where I am heading. I want you to experience what things are difficult for me. I want you to take this journey with me and offer tips, advice, and support if nothing else. I want to share this process step by step, month by month and see this business soar! 

What types of things would you be interested in for me to talk about?

What things do you want to learn?

What experiences do you want me to share?

I'm going to be an open book through this process and hope to inspire you, challenge you, and motivate you throughout the adventure. This will be a great journal for me to keep of everything Jesus has brought me through from the start and I'm excited to share it with you. 
Thanks for listening to my story! 

Have a great day!

- J

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linking up: A Greatful Heart

Monday, October 20, 2014

Chi Chi London

Happy Monday!

Floral Print Dress c/o ChiChi London
Denim Jacket - Thrifted! $7!
Brown/White Booties c/o Dresswe

How was your weekend?
I worked on things in my shop, made tie blankets with a group from my church, and met my friend's newborn twin babies. It made me think about how big my little baby grace has grown, and how she is definitely not a newborn anymore! I really have to hold on to these days and memories we are experiencing right now!

This beautiful, fun and flirty dress is from Chi Chi London. I love the material of it, its great quality and the fit accentuates where it needs to and gives room where that is needed too. I paired it with this awesome denim jacket I got from thrifting this past week! You guys I have been experiencing thrifting heaven! :) And cannot forget the booties. I love them. I wish I had a better shot of them, because they are just so fab - if you follow me on instagram I did have a better shot of them a few weeks back. 

Anywho, I hope you have an amazing start to your week! 

- J