Thursday, January 9, 2014

Five Things I Wish Someone Told Me..

Happy Thursday, Loves!

Hope everyone is having a great week. I am ready for labor the weekend. Today, I got to thinking about a lot I have learned over the years and thought I would share a few of them with you. I am not a pro in any of these categories, nor will I ever be - as we always grow and develop!

But man, I wish someone would have told me these things.. Or let me be honest, 
I wish I would have listened!

Over the years and into my early 20's...

one. Life's a journey not a race.
We leave high school in a rush and race to get to our dream jobs, to start our dream lives, with our dream husbands and family! Little did we know life would hit us one way or the other. I immediately got knocked off my horse faced with problems bigger than tomorrow's math test, and based more on my physical health. Also, I was putting myself through school - so I went to the workforce early. I realized right away I wasn't graduating college in 4 years. I had to become comfortable with the fact that the important piece was to finish, not when you finished. I've applied it to everything now. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else, we were each perfectly made to be our unique selves. 

two. You will grow apart from some of your friends.
It won't be anyone's fault. Priorities will shift, whether that's taking on a big girl job, a relationship, a baby, etc. You will hold on to the relationships that are more in line with where your life is heading and will cherish them more. I'm happy to say I've held on to a lot of great friends, but our relationships have each progressed differently. And that's okay. 

three. Attitude is 90% of everything.
Being upset at the world for not reaching your dreams or desires will hurt no one but you. In this time of life, we start to understand you may have to think out of the box to get what you want. You may have to get up off your butt and quit waiting for things to fall into your lap. You may have to try a different route to get to where you want to go. But keeping a positive attitude will allow this time to be more rewarding than a fiery trial. There were a lot of opportunities that didn't happen for me, but as I look at where I am now I see that it was all according to God's plan and where I am is better than where I could have imagined to be.

four. You'll be confused, but its okay.
You think you know everything, so when you can't figure out what your next step will be or should be you will be confused. You will think you have failed, comparing yourself to others that look more sure about where they are or where they are going. But the truth is, we've all felt it. The uncertainty of tomorrow or our futures. And at the right time, you will figure it out. You may realize what you dreamed of, wasn't really as bright as the dream portrayed (As I did). However, if you love and trust God, you will figure it out even sooner as you follow His lead. Wish I would have known that.

five. You do not know everything.

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About relationships...

one. Protect your heart.
It's so important. At times you'll experience heart break, it will hurt. Time will heal. Know your self-worth, God says a virtuous woman is worth more than rubies (Proverbs 31:10). You are the prize.

two. Red flags are there for a reason. 
If something doesn't seem right, it's probably not. Trust your instincts. Not saying my instincts were always right, but if you are picking up on a man being a 'dog'; there's a reason you feel like that. If you are not feeling respected or like your opinion matters than it's time to move around. If you are really looking for a relationship, you will want to be 'the one' not another one. You make the choice. 

three. Sometimes you have to jump.
Past hurts will make being vulnerable difficult. But when you truly know that this is different, you will walk to ledge and jump. If you protect your heart, your partner will understand the importance of keeping that trust. Trusting is stepping out on faith that this person will protect your heart as much as you have. 

four. You will want to give up.
After you've tried a few heartbreaks and disappointment, it won't be easy to believe there is truly anything better. You will want to throw in the towel. Your heart may need a break, during this time focus on YOU. Not the "I just want to have a good time" but truly what can you do to empower yourself and your future. I wish I would have taken my own advice. 

five. You will find happiness.
Whether that be in singleness or in a relationship. It will happen, but again it goes back to attitude being 90%. 

About pregnancy...

one. You will become more curious about life's mysteries.
You will marvel at how the body knows just what to do and how it can go from growing this little microorganism into this full blown child, that will grow into an adult one day like you. It will amaze you. You will ponder other mysteries of life. For me it reinforced my belief in God, who else could have created such a marvelous process so perfectly?

two. Your perspective on the definition of love will begin to alter.
She's not even here, and I love her already. I would do anything for her, in the capacity where I might be lazy to get up and do something for myself - but if I say it's for her I'll do it. I want to be the best role model and mother to her and I haven't even met her. I thought I knew love, I am beginning to find a deeper meaning. Just like God's love for us as His children.

three. You will appreciate your parents more.
Especially your mother. You will understand just exactly what she went through to bring you into this world, and you will appreciate it. My mom birthed and raised 7 of us. How? I can't seem to take care of me, A and a new baby on the way. I know I'll learn to balance - but 7! Wow, she really is superwoman. I tell her this often now. :) 

four. Your mood will slither, swing and attack.
You will have to try your hardest to stay level headed. You will be emotional. You will not be in control, this is the hardest part of it. You will get mad that you are not in control of your own emotions. You will cry and scream about it. You will eat ice cream, you will feel better. :)

five. You will question your partner's ability to be a father.
Everything he does you will criticize and think, "Will this be my child's role model?" You will become closer through the process and realize you are still the same people, but are changing at the same time. Moments on the couch will be magical. You'll still worry about him being alone with a child, but you know he can do it!

About God...

one. He is real. 
I questioned for years, it wasn't until He touched my life personally and I understood He was always there. I just wasn't listening or willing to truly accept and believe in Him. 

two. It's a journey, but He has the plan written for you.
You can stop searching for the answers, He has them all. It will be a journey of faith and trust, but what's so great is your blue print is written and you don't have to be confused any longer. Keep Him first and all things will work out. Remember attitude is 90% :)

three. You don't know anything.
Ha. Throw your college teachings and concepts out the door. God works on His precepts. He's already figured this life out, empty yourself and take Him in.

four. Seeing is not always believing.
You realize very quickly that there is a spiritual realm in this life. His spirit lives in you, and although this world teaches you - you must see to believe. When you truly encounter God and follow Him you understand this is a lie you must overcome. You will believe in the naturally impossible and trust in things you cannot see and you will see positive results from it. You will be overwhelmed by Him. 

five. It's rewarding.
It's empowering to know you have everything you need in Him. It will make you a better person through Him. You will experience a true love given to you for nothing more than it being pleasing to Him. He will be part of everything in your life. Life will become fulfilling. You will find what you have been missing for so long. It will seem foolish not to live for Him. 

So, what do you think? 
What do you wish people would have shared with you over the years?

Linking up: What I'm Loving Fridays, Lovely Thursdays, Proverbs 31 Thurs, Thoughtful Thursday


  1. Wow! This is beautiful! The pregnancy segment made me tear up! :) :) The definition of love and how you gain a better understanding of Gods love towards us... truly amazing! :)

  2. So many truths! Ive learned so many of these lessons and youre right we probably shouldve just listened the first go round! Lol!!! Stay warm!!!

  3. Such an amazing post! p.s. adorable belly!

    xoxo, KP
    Eleventh & Sixteenth

  4. aww. these are great life lessons you've shared. i wish someone had told me back then, 'you will be confused and its okay!' i was definitely confused as a college student trying to figure out my life's purpose.

    i think your future baby will really appreciate reading these one day. =)

    1. Weren't we all. We thought once we were in college we were supposed to have it all figured out! :) Thanks for commenting

  5. I really like this, Ms. Jena. You are learning a lot and the first step is acknowledging and accepting that "No, I don't know everything but I am willing to learn and open to receive." You are going to be a great little mommy and I am so proud of what Jesus is doing in your life. Love you!

    1. Thanks, Momma! yes, I am willing to learn and open to receive. I like that! :) Love you too!

  6. This is such a good post. Love your list of five things. The one I am dealing with now is friendships changing and evolving and the difficulty when you lose friends you thought would be in your life forever. You have such great insight on relationships and I agree about red flags. God is definitely real and I have learned that what you can't see is much more real and powerful than anything you see with your natural eyes.

    1. I truly agree with your statement about what you can't see is much more real and powerful than anything you do see! So true! Thanks for commenting :)

  7. You are a wise young lady. You are going to eventually follow in your fathers footsteps in some capacity. As a matter of fact you are ministering through this medium setting the stage for greather things in your ministry. God bless you and may the wisdom you have gained and still gaining ever increase.

    1. Wow, thanks so much for your comment. I appreciate it! It came at the perfect timing :)

  8. You are so great with words! Please let me know if you still need anything for baby, I'd love to get you something!! XX

    1. Thanks Miamon! We have so much for the baby! Only thing we will continue to need is diapers ;)

  9. oh my goodness i totally agree with so many of these!! particularly, you will grow apart from friends and red flags are there for a reason. those were hard lessons for me to learn!!

  10. Thank you for this i can definitely relate to the first bit x

  11. This is my first visit to your site & 2 things struck me right off the bat. 1st, you are so beautiful!!! And 2nd, what a great post. I found myself nodding along to some & thinking of my own "what I wish I would have known's"! The awesome thing is that every day is a new chance to change & grow into the women He wants us to be! Congrats on your little one!

  12. Oooh I love the sparkle in your sweater and you are right life is a journey not a race. It's a good perspective

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  13. Thank u Jena this just gave me something I needed within ur words


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