Lately I've been taking it easy, getting acquainted with this new mommy life. So this morning, after giving baby L her bath and putting her down for a nap, I decided to listen to some sermons that I have missed recently from church and get into worship with God.
I could feel His love overflowing in my spirit and it just brought me to tears. This is pretty easy, since I am a total sob and cry at the drop of a dime. I get it from my mom, and me and all my sisters are pretty much the same way. -_-
As tears fell I began to just thank Jesus for His love for me. For granting me favor, blessing me, showing me the truth, and making my life more fulfilled than ever before. All to often our lives are revolving around ourselves.
It's the Me, Myself, and I attitude.
In fact, society teaches us all day long to worry about ourselves and that no one will look out for you - so you need to put yourself as #1 in your life. I'd been burned a time or two, so it seemed to make sense, and so I tried it. I put Jena as numero uno and for some reason still didn't come out happy or satisfied. Actually, my selfishness made my thoughts towards other people bitter, and I was more of an irritable person.
Always looking at the negative in others.
I told my girlfriends to never trust any man, because they would all let you down. I didn't give out help to anyone unless I felt they had helped me enough in my life to deserve it. And I didn't give myself or my time, and instead built walls up so no one could truly get in to know the giving, loving, selfless side of me.
I realized that people fell down, made bad choices, and made mistakes. I realized that people had their own will, and could do whatever they wanted to do. I realized that because of this, it was hard to tell if people would be true to their word or let you down. I had no trust in humanity, I had no trust in anything this world had to offer.
I started to use the '3 Strikes & You're Out' method.
Yet, it got me nowhere, but feeling like I was totally alone in this world. No real direction, because who was your friend and who was your foe. No one to trust, nowhere to put my faith, nothing to believe in.
BUT, Christ totally changed that in me. This time last year, I was embarking on a new journey of following His plan and will for my life instead of my own. I found out that God is everything that man was not.
He is faithful, He is love, He is righteous, He is holy, He is truth, He is ALWAYS there.
In order to receive all of Him, I need to follow Him, trust Him, and live for Him. I found that He is always bound to His word. If He said it, He must honor it, and He will. It was shown throughout the Bible and especially in my life. He had delivered me from one of the darkest moments in my life.When no one else was there, He was a comforter. When I would feel anxiety on the rise, He gave me peace. It was amazing how keeping my mind on Him changed all of my situations.
There had been plenty of times when I was so focused on my life, my problems, my "Me, Myself, and I" attitude; that I did not even see that Jesus was right there. He was waiting on me to make that choice of whether or not I was going to serve Him, live for Him, accept my life as a kingdom daughter, heir and citizen. He was there waiting to see if I was going to give up my heartaches and headaches for a path He constructed for me and a more abundant life. Not because it was a good thing for me, but because He loved me from before the beginning and it is pleasing to Him that I live for Him.
And because I live for Him, there are rewards - but let's just call them rights. He is a king, and He allows us to be heirs and live in His kingdom - so we are citizens. AND I don't know about you, but this citizen has rights. Just like in USA I have the right to speak freely, in God's Kingdom I have the right to a greater, more abundant life. (John 10:10) And that's not all, I could now read His word and find out everything else I was promised for following Him.
All because He loved me when I didn't deserve it?
That's a beautiful, real love.
I realized that Jesus did the complete opposite than everything I did in my "Me, Myself, and I" attitude phase. He showed unconditional, agape love to those that mocked Him. Cared for strangers. He forgave others no matter how many times they did Him wrong. He turned the other cheek. He gave of Himself whole-heartedly in everything according to His purpose and did whatsoever His father wanted Him to do; not what He wanted to do. It was never about Him.
"When a man's ways please the Lord, He maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him."
I realized when I took "me" out of the equation, my life was more fulfilling. Doing for others, forgiving those who did me wrong, and trusting in God to see me through to take care of my worries - it all worked so much better.
"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares"
But you know what's even more rewarding.
As long as I am pleasing my father, He always takes care of me. I am never left feeling alone anymore. I can see many blessings in each and every day from Him. I am left feeling fulfilled and overwhelmed with peace, joy, and love. I am finally living life.
Giving of myself has greater rewards.
I learned through following Christ that my purpose and my life is all about pleasing Him. Within that statement there is a never ending river full of living word, knowledge, and understanding. Christ taught me that man is just that, MAN. Only God is faithful and never fails. Only God can show us what true love is.
I am in a never-ending journey with a mighty God and loving every moment of it.
Hope you have a great weekend!
Enjoy the Superbowl :)
linking up with *turn it up tuesday